I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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