Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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