dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
