We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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