i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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