My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
