OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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