Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
