I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
