And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Vodka?
Forever.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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