i already hear my dad disowning me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
