Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
