Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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