You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Randomize
