We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sacagawea was the original milf.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
