She said her name was "party"
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
