We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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