guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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