i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
