you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
