what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My breasts were aching with rage.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
