i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
