Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
