love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my shit smells like andre
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
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