thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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