Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
