I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
