He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
