so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
