dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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