your room smells of hookers.
And success
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
