I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
