Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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