so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Randomize
