while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
