I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
