is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This house was built for laser tag.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
