I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
