either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
you made out with another girl for some wings
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
