all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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