There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
