Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
