I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize