i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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