ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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