She's JV to your varsity
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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