I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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