Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
The power of my boobs compel you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
