If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
