your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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