Dual....:-)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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